Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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