making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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