I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
