i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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