Christians are straight up FREAKS
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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