I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
