So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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