once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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