So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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