Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
