How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Randomize
