First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
