it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
