I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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