You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
