I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
