I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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