Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize