I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
3pm strippers are depressing
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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