It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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