it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
