hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize