he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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