barbara walters just said penis...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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