why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
