I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
