I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
