dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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