I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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