Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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