so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
areolas are like halos for boobs.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
