Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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