so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
