Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
