she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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