I wish I only lived at night.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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