C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
