i just wanna soil my oats bro
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
