Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
