you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
two words: eviction party
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think a kid would responsible me up
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
