He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize