I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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