would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
