Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Randomize
