My cat gives me a boner
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Can I color on your dick again?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
