Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
