How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
