Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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