Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
