I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
