she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
