party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
