The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
