But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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