On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
