It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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