I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
