It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are we still banned from the library?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
