Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
