I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
