Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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