i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
