check it out our google latitudes are spooning
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
