Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
