I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
