singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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