I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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