I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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